Turning 19, changed my life.

30 05 2011

Every year, I spend my birthdays filled with depression and sadness, and I never expected it to change at all.
This year, I spent the starting of my birthday in tears of sadness, because I have been emotionally unstable lately.

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It has been a year, since you left…

12 05 2011

We started of as strangers.

All I wanted was to know more about you.
All I wanted to do was hang out with you.
The only person I wanted to talk to is you.
You were my number one priority.
And everytime I saw you, butterflies.

You were everything that I thought that could be perfect in a person.

By the end of it all, we had a bizzilion pictures of each other.
And we knew every detail of our daily lives.

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MayDay! MayDay!

1 05 2011

Great, it’s that time of year again.
You guys might probably be curious, ’cause I know I would be if I were you guys.
Some of you who knows me might already know what it is, some others might not, and I’m sure it’ll leave you all wondering.
Yes, my friends, it’s May.

Okay, so those of you who might not know me very well, or maybe at all.
May seems to be like a taboo or what most would called it an ‘unlucky’ month for me.
Call me crazy, but I think that I tend to encounter many misfortunes during the month of May.
That’s why, I might be crazily emotional on Facebook this month. Wait, let me rephrase that.
I am crazily emotional on Facebook all the time, but this month, it’s a little more to the extent where most people get annoyed by it.

All of you may wonder, how can someone get so emotionally depressed? Heck, even I wonder.
Maybe having my birthday on the month of May also contributes into the depression?
I realize that I have been depressed for a very long time.

Due to my constant depression, I’ve realized friends come and go.
People are sick and tired of hearing my rants, my stories, my everything.
It’s times like this when you realize, nobody really cares about you.
Yes, they may ask, but they don’t really care, they just want to know anything that is possible to be a secret.

Well, as a way to vent things out, I thought maybe I’d share my secret with my readers.
This gives you an opportunity to know something more about me.
This is probably one of the main reasons I’m going to despise May for this year.

This year, in a few more days, it will be a year, my first (probably my last) ex left me…

…Until today, I still wonder whether I actually meant anything to my ex at all?

Yes, people, I only have one ex. Don’t be get too shocked about it.
I’ll probably rant more about this in my future posts. I love talking about my ex, after all, my ex is my favorite topic.
So don’t worry, you guys will have plenty of chance to hear about my ex. Stay tuned.





Red ‘n’ White Wine

22 04 2011

After working for about near 2 months, I realized something.
It had never occurred to me before because we were working different shifts before, but right now, I know the reason I love most about going to work is getting to see you.
Now that we’re working the same shifts, and the same outlet as well, I really couldn’t see any difference.
Until, last week, when you didn’t show up for the whole weekend.
It made me realized, that you brighten up my working experience, you made me love work.
You are the reason why I got the job and how I got this opportunity in the first place.
You even helped me raised my pay.

I’m glad to see you back at work today, but it wasn’t as great as it was knowing that you and I are at different outlets.
Even though we’re a few shop lots away, I feel so empty when I’m working without you. It’s sad how they separated us.
Looks to me like it’s going to be permanent. Got a huge feeling about it.





Your light…

14 04 2011
“You are the light to my darkness”

I really hope you mean what you say, because your words really mean a lot to me.
It really keeps me up all night, thinking a lot.
Sometimes I wonder, do you really mean it or are you just saying that because you’re in need of my help?

People say that you’re only saying this because I am doing work for you, but somehow, I disagree, I believe you mean it.
Even though I disagree with them, they still persist on telling me that it’s already a clear fact, but I still refuse to listen.
They even say that I’m the light you need whenever you experience a black out and you really have no other option and that I am the last resort, because you know I would do anything for you.

You know, you’re the only person whom I’ve done everything and anything I can, whenever and wherever you need me to do anything.
That’s how much you mean to me. I really hope you’re not just saying it for the sake of making me happy, and not mean it.
My already broken heart will crush to pieces even more.
It’s bad enough I can’t have you, but I still put you as my everything, because I am truly in love with you.





Sudden calling…

21 02 2011

Just got back from your place, and it’s been so long.
This is perhaps the longest I have gone not seeing you and being at your home with you.
2 months, to be exact. Oh, you do not know how I feel inside.
I’m filled with joy and a smile for the rest of the week, that’s for sure.





Fine weather we’re having, aren’t we?

30 01 2011

I loved today’s weather.
Rained all day long. Yes, I’m a big fan of the rain, not the singer Rain.
Sometimes it’s good to have rain for the whole day once in awhile.
Cool, calm & relaxing. Hearing some Chinese songs to add in the mood.
The peace and serenity it gives you, makes you feel so at ease.

Anyways, did some Chinese New Year shopping with my beloved mom.
Can’t remember the last time I went shopping with her.
I should start spending more time with her.
Got a few shirts, a pair of pants and a pair of slacks.

After that, met up with a four of my friends.
One of them got a bottle of Martin, and we chilled at Asia Cafe.
Ugh, three of them got drunk, so me and another girl took care of them.
Tiring to the max, having to dragged them here and there, bring them to and fro to the toilet, drag them safely to their house.
The worst part of all was, having all of them sticking their head out of my car window and puking all over my car.

Anyways, these two songs are one of the few songs that I mainly listen to whenever it rains.


Feng by Jay Chou


Tui Hou by Jay Chou